


Operation Big Apple (or the one where Henry and Zelena try to parent trap Emma and Regina on their trip to New York)

by queenssaviour



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Family Vacation, Idiots in Love, Mistaken For A Couple, Mutual Pining, New York, Road Trips, Sharing a Bed, Swan Mills Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-12-03 02:27:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11522613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenssaviour/pseuds/queenssaviour
Summary: “Oh,” Regina said as she turned around, her expression guilty. “Did you hear me?”“Are you serious right now?” she barked. “I’m sure the whole floor heard you, as well as our very lucky neighbors downstairs.”“Good,” Regina said, a determined look in her eyes as she started jumping on the bed again. “Help me?”Emma groaned and turned on her heel to go back to the bathroom. She spent a good while staring at the mirror before Regina’s moans in the bedroom subsided and she could think clearly again. She couldn't believe that she would just have to suck it up and go sleep next to the other woman after the very lively show she had just put on.This vacation was suddenly theworst.[Written for Swan Queen Week, Day four (Family Vacation), Day five (Divorced mommy), Day six (Mommy in Love), and Day seven (Parent Trap).]





	Operation Big Apple (or the one where Henry and Zelena try to parent trap Emma and Regina on their trip to New York)

**Author's Note:**

> Just something I wrote really fast because I wanted to post something for SQW. Many thanks to Myra for coming up with the original idea (that changed quite a bit), Tris for being a stellar beta, and Christine, Aimee, Mari, Ari, and a bunch of other people on twitter for answering my questions.

Henry Mills’ moms were in love.

 

It had gotten to the point where he didn’t know what he should do about it anymore. He’d tried to give the two of them hints, he’d tried to make them see that their really romantic happy ending was right in front of them, but they never listened.

 

He’d even tricked them to go on a vacation together since he’d thought maybe a change of scenery would be what they needed. Not a romantic vacation - they would’ve seen right through that - but a nice family vacation to New York with him, aunt Zelena, and Robyn. 

 

He had to admit that the vacation hadn’t been a success yet. They’d stopped to have lunch in the middle of their road trip, and Emma and Mom had just kept doing their longing eye thing across the table. He had left the restaurant as quickly as he could and tried to give Mom and Emma some time alone, although he didn’t think he’d been too successful when Zelena was still inside. His mothers were most certainly still caught up on doing the eye thing instead of… talking about stuff. 

 

“Well, you look awfully grim.”

 

Henry looked at the door of the restaurant. Zelena was carrying Robyn in her car seat and walking towards him with a puzzled expression on her face. He felt like she must’ve known what was happening between Mom and Emma, too  – he hadn’t missed the multiple eye rolls his aunt had shot their way during lunch.

 

“My moms are in love, and they’re too stubborn to do anything about it.” It felt good to say it out loud, a thought that had been on his mind for years, even before Emma had married Hook.

 

“We could parent trap them,” Zelena replied instantly, her expression excited as she moved closer to Henry. “Have you seen that Lindsay Lohan movie?”

 

Henry decided to ignore the fact that Zelena was once again on top of popular culture knowledge in this world. He was more surprised by his aunt’s willingness to help him out with his new operation.

 

“Wait, really?”

 

“Mhmm,” Zelena muttered. She seemed to be thinking about something long and hard until she replied, “Yes. I think it’s been long enough. It’s becoming almost unbearable.” She shook her head. “It was entertaining at first… I was certain they’d get together after the divorce, but they seem to be rather… stuck.”

 

It  _ was  _ becoming unbearable, especially when you had to live in the same house with Mom and Emma and watch them do nothing about their feelings  _ every day _ . (Because, yeah, Emma had practically moved in by now, and his moms kept acting like it was not weird at all.)

 

“What do you think we should do?” he asked. He hadn’t planned something like this for a while, but he was suddenly feeling excited now that he had a partner in crime to scheme with. “We should call this… Operation…”

 

“How about Big Apple?” Zelena suggested. “If they hear us talking about it, they'll just think we’re talking about the trip.”

 

Henry nodded. “Yeah, Operation Big Apple sounds good... But what should we do?”

 

Zelena looked pensive for a moment.  “We could trap them in the middle of romantic scenarios during this holiday.”

 

“Mom won’t even take Emma out,” he pointed out. “They still act like they can only spend time together if I’m there. Then when I leave, they still find an excuse to hang out.”

 

It was true, especially now that Emma lived with them. They were practically married without admitting they were.

 

“We could still always make sure that they get some alone time in New York,” Zelena suggested. “I’ll babysit you since I have Robyn with me already.”

 

“Zelena, I’m fourteen; I don’t need-”   
  


“Yes, you do,” Zelena said, waving her hand dismissively. “And we can make sure that they get a room where they have to share a bed,” Zelena said as she took her phone out of her pocket. “Just a moment.”

 

Henry watched in awe as Zelena’s fingers moved on the phone screen. There was a smile that made its way on her lips and her eyes lit up when she clicked on something before sighing contently.

 

“It’s done,” Zelena said. “This is  _ fantastic.” _

 

“What’s fantastic?” 

 

Henry turned his head and saw that Mom had snuck up behind them with Emma on her heel. She was looking at him and Zelena as if she was waiting for an explanation, and he felt like he should come up with some sort of excuse before things got suspicious.

 

“I was just wondering where we should go in New York,” he said as casually as he could. “I really miss the pizza… Central Park… museums and arcades.”

 

“And this time we can show you guys around,” Emma said, her gaze moving from Mom to Zelena. 

 

Mom turned around to smile at Emma. “It should be nicer than our last visit.”

 

Zelena turned her back to Mom and Emma and rolled her eyes. Henry tried to suppress a smile.

 

“No running away this time, Henry,” Mom said. “Remember?”

 

His last visit to New York was still all too fresh in his mind, and he was glad there was no magic or villains involved this time. He could actually enjoy the time he had with his moms, cousin, and his aunt… And parent trap his moms with said aunt.

 

“Yeah, Mom,” he said. “No running away.”

 

* * *

 

“What do you mean there’s only one bed?” Regina asked the receptionist.

 

Emma’s gaze went from Regina to the adamant-looking receptionist and then to Regina again. They were in the lobby of their hotel, and the receptionist had just told them she would be staying in the same room as Regina with only one bed. She most definitely did  _ not  _ care, nor did she think that was a big deal, but it wasn’t what they’d booked.

 

“Yes, ma'am. You changed your booking earlier today,” the receptionist explained.

 

“I most definitely did not,” Regina muttered. She seemed like she was going to write an angry email about it. Emma wouldn’t have expected any less. “That’s not what we booked, Emma.”

 

“I know.” She sighed and turned to the receptionist. “And the other room still has two beds?”

 

“Yeah,” the receptionist said and nodded. “You have booked two rooms, one of them with a king-size bed and another with two single beds. Our policy is that you can’t change your booking after three PM. Sorry.”

 

She nodded. They would figure this out somehow. It wasn’t like she  _ had  _ to share a bed with Regina when there were a lot of other options between the four of them.

 

“Well, we can just switch, right?” she said, her voice uncertain. “I mean, one of us can sleep in the bed with Henry or you can sleep in the bed with Zelena or…”

 

Regina nodded. “That seems like a good idea.”

 

“Hey, sorry, moms, but I kinda want my own bed,” Henry said. “I’m fourteen.”

 

Emma raised her brow. Seriously?

 

“Henry, please,” Regina said. “I think you can manage two nights sleeping next to Emma or me.”

 

“Mom, please?” Henry said. “I don’t get to stay at a hotel often.”

 

Regina looked at Henry for a moment before shrugging. “Fine. So, Zelena and I will stay in the one-bed bedroom.” She turned around and pulled her credit card from her wallet.

 

“Uhm, no,” Zelena said, raising her finger at them. “I came on this trip in the hopes of having a bed of my own, and I’m not the one who doesn’t know how to book a room. I’m staying in the two single beds room with Henry. That’s what I paid for.”

 

“Fine, but that’s not what  _ you  _ paid for,” Regina retorted. “You don’t even have a job. We all know who’s paying for your room.”

 

Emma fought the urge to groan. Why did Henry and Zelena have to suddenly act so difficult? It would’ve made a whole lot more sense for her and Regina to  _ not  _ share a bed. “Zelena, come on!” 

 

“What’s the matter, Emma? Just share the room with your best friend… co-mom… whatever. I don’t understand what the big deal is,” Zelena said as she started walking away. “Robyn needs a nappy change. I’ll see you in a bit!”

 

Emma was left staring at Zelena’s back that soon disappeared around the corner. She couldn’t believe she was stuck in this situation.

 

Not that it was a big deal, of course. She practically lived at Regina’s, anyway. It wouldn’t mean anything to sleep in the same bed with her best friend. 

 

(The same best friend she had kissed just before her wedding to someone else. She’d ended up divorcing her husband right after their honeymoon because of her feelings for said best friend, and she was maybe still pining for her, but that was totally irrelevant.)

 

It wasn’t a big deal!

 

“So, we’ll just sleep in the same bed,” Regina stated without looking at Emma as she signed the form on the counter.

 

“Sure!” she responded and cursed her voice for sounding so high because it really  _ really _ wasn’t that big of a deal.

 

* * *

 

This was going rather well, if Zelena said so herself.

 

The most crucial part of their plan had already been put into motion. Now they would only have to wait  – maybe order them a bottle of champagne from the room service or set up a romantic dinner for two while she was looking after the children.

 

She was truly doing god’s work here, and her sister didn’t even appreciate it.

 

“Do you think they’ll actually talk about stuff now that they have to share a room?” Henry asked. He was sitting on his bed across the room, his face dubious. Zelena could hardly blame him. Her sister and Emma were awfully oblivious sometimes, but some bed sharing  _ had  _ to be the answer.

 

“Oh, I’m sure they’ll do more than talk,” she replied absentmindedly as she tried to feed Robyn baby food.  “It’s bed sharing we’re talking about, after all.”

 

“Ew, Zelena,” Henry groaned, which kind of pulled her out of her food battle. “I don’t wanna think about that.”

 

“Sorry, kid,” she said. “Wait, are you even supposed to know about that? You’re fourteen.” She was uncertain how old children were when they learned about romantic relations. Then again, that stuff seemed to be all over the interwebs, so she didn’t think she’d done much harm.

 

Henry had covered his ears. This was going well. “Yeah, but they’re my _ moms. _ ”

 

“Alright, got it,” she said and nodded.

 

They fell into a silence after that. Henry was looking at something on his phone, and she tried to desperately make Robyn eat her food. Her daughter had most definitely inherited the fierceness of the Mills and she sometimes wondered how tumultuous she would be once she learned how to talk. 

 

“So, mom says that we should meet up downstairs. We’re gonna take the ferry to the Statue of Liberty.”

 

“Perfect.” 

 

Zelena had seen pictures of the statue, and she felt like it was one of the things they should see during their trip. Two nights in New York wasn’t too much (Regina had insisted on the length so Henry would only miss one day of school), but this was still her first holiday in a big city and Robyn’s first time out of Storybrooke ever.

 

“So should we try to do something for them tonight or wait until tomorrow?” Henry asked.

 

“Hmm.” It was almost the evening already. The statue would take them a few hours if Emma’s words on their road trip were anything to go by. “I say we get them champagne and strawberries tonight, but that’s it. We don’t want to make them too suspicious, do we?”

 

* * *

 

Henry’s smile made Regina smile. 

 

He’d been so glad to show her the Statue of Liberty that the importance of the statue had become secondary  – all she wanted was for Henry to have a good time. She thought they should take family trips like this more often if there was no immediate threat in Storybrooke. (They’d been threat-free almost six months, the last menace having been  – rather surprisingly  – Geppetto’s cat.)

 

After seeing the statue, they walked along the shoreline for a while before heading to Times Square. The number of people took Regina by surprise; there were people from all walks of life wandering around in the lights that came from the very sizable advertisements around them. The last time she’d been here, she hadn’t really had time to look around, her mind completely focused on finding Henry, but now she had time to actually see what was in front of her.

 

“You okay?” Emma asked next to her.

 

“Yes, I’m…” she said, searching for the right words. “It’s definitely not Storybrooke or the Enchanted Forest.” 

 

“Or Oz,” Zelena stated somewhere behind her.

 

“Do you like it?” Henry said, excitement clear on his face.

 

“I do,” Regina said, although she had to admit she didn’t know if she actually wanted to live in such a big city. She felt somewhat unsafe in such a big crowd without her magic there to protect them from any suspicious miscreants.

 

“Do you wanna go to M&M’s World before we get dinner?” Henry asked. “There are three stories of chocolate there.”

 

“I think that would be appropriate only after dinner,” she pointed out. 

 

Henry nodded, and Emma groaned. What a  _ child. _

 

“Did you know that the brown and green M&M’s candy are gal pals?” Zelena said. “I saw[ a tweet about it](https://twitter.com/mmschocolate/status/615220459253141504).”

 

Regina raised her brow. That wasn’t relevant at all, and she wasn’t fully familiar with the expression Zelena had used, although she had referred to Emma as Regina’s gal pal several times this last year. “Well, I would suppose so. Aren’t they all friends?”

 

“That’s right,” Zelena said as she started pushing Robyn’s stroller forward again. “The best of friends.”

 

“So, who here wants pizza?” Emma asked, changing the topic.

 

“I do!” Henry replied.

 

As they kept walking to find the pizza her son and his other mother had talked about, Regina’s mind started to wander. Seeing Emma and Henry there reminded her of the time she had had to let them go and how grateful she was that they’d found their way back to her. She really couldn’t live without Henry, and she would certainly… miss Emma quite a bit if she were to ever leave Storybrooke again. 

 

She had had feelings for Emma for a lot longer than she cared to admit, although it had all really hit her when she’d had to say goodbye to her on the town line. After that, it’d just been messy; there had never been a right time for them and neither of them had properly approached the topic, and the next thing she knew, Emma was kissing  _ her  _ at her bachelorette party before getting married to a pirate that was so below her level it wasn’t even funny.

 

She was glad Emma had left that sad excuse of a man, but she hadn’t ended up acting on her feelings after that, either. After Emma’s divorce, she didn’t want to make a move too soon since the woman had just gotten out of something so serious. Regina had wanted to give her the space and time that no one else seemed to.

 

She often wondered how Emma felt. Emma had kissed  _ her _ after all and then gotten a divorce from Hook almost straight afterwards. Emma could’ve easily told her if there was something to tell, but she felt like the other woman was either deep in denial or as reluctant to break boundaries as she was. Emma was the closest friend she had, and it wouldn’t have been beneficial to Henry either to have his mothers fighting again. 

 

She shook her head as she caught herself making up excuses. She really wanted to ask Emma why she had really divorced Hook, because as good a reason “he wasn’t making me happy” was, she felt like there might’ve been more to it.

 

* * *

“Why are there champagne and strawberries here?” Regina asked.

 

Emma stared at the tray in front of her. They’d just come back from M&M’s World and Central Park, said goodnight to Henry, Zelena, and Robyn, and were now looking at a very expensive-looking champagne bottle and strawberries in the hallway of their small suite.

 

“There’s a letter.” Maybe that would explain it. She unfolded it and read, “Free of charge for the newlyweds…” She could feel an unexplainable blush starting to cover her cheeks, and she hoped Regina wouldn’t turn on the lights. “We aren’t newlyweds!”

 

“I know that, but they don’t,” Regina shrugged as she took off her coat and grabbed the champagne bottle. “This champagne isn’t bad either. Would you like a glass?”

 

Emma stared at Regina her mouth open. She looked so nonchalant, and she hated her a bit for it, because really? It wouldn’t have been all that bad to be there with Regina on her honeymoon. A lot nicer than her actual honeymoon ten months ago, for sure.

 

Regina obviously didn’t share her feelings, as she seemed to think getting mistaken for a couple by the hotel staff was just a funny coincidence that didn’t merit any extra attention. 

 

“Sure, yeah, I’ll have a glass,” she replied as casually as she could.

 

For a moment, she expected it all to go well, but then Regina  – a woman who had certainly opened a champagne bottle before  – got some of the beverage on her expensive silk blouse and took it off without a second thought.

 

“Shit,” Regina said as she inspected the shirt in her hands. “I think I can get it off with warm water if I wash it now.”

 

Emma couldn’t respond anything. She was staring at the door behind Regina so that she wouldn’t unintentionally be ogling at her in her black lacy bra. She really hoped Regina didn’t realize how strongly she was affected by something so mundane as taking one’s shirt off because  –

 

“Emma,” Regina said, and that was enough to snap Emma out of her trance. “I think I’m going to wash this now and change. You can have the champagne and strawberries while I’m in the bathroom.”

 

“O...kay,” Emma said and grabbed one of the glasses without looking. She poured champagne in it and moved past the hallway as Regina walked into the bathroom.

 

Her relief was short-lived when she saw that there were red rose petals on the freshly-made bed. How was she supposed to do some highly platonic bed-sharing with her best friend she was in love with while their room looked like it was from a rom com? She groaned before downing the entire glass of champagne at once. 

 

Sadly for her, the rose petals were soon the least of her worries when she heard some indistinct mumbling from the room next to them. It sounded like someone was just talking at first, but then she could hear a really loud moan and what she knew to be the bang of the headboard from the other side of the wall. 

 

This was not her day.

 

“Emma, everything alright? I heard-”

 

Emma turned around and she was faced with Regina wearing a very short silky nightgown that didn’t cover much more than her bra had. At that moment, Emma wondered what she had done recently to deserve this kind of torture. She wasn’t even supposed to be in this room.

 

“Yeah, uhm,” she said, trying to search for the right words. “Some people who might actually be on their honeymoon seem to be enjoying themselves.” She stopped for a moment and her gaze landed on the rose petals on their bed. “And we have some rose petals in here, I guess. They really think we’re those newlyweds.”

 

Regina stayed quiet for a while, her eyes wide as her eyes moved from the wall to the bed. She seemed to recover quite fast as she put on a smile and raised the champagne glass she’d been holding. “Well, I hope they’ll quiet down soon. Should we try to get some sleep before tomorrow?”

 

“Sure,” she replied. “Sounds good.”

 

She went to the bathroom to change into her T-shirt and plaid pyjama pants. She splashed some water on her face after that, hoping that that would calm her nerves down before she had to sleep in the same bed with Regina.

 

_ Get a grip, Swan.  _ It wasn’t that big a deal. It wasn’t. It certainly hadn’t helped her that Regina had just taken off her shirt and was wearing next to nothing now, but she could be an adult about it. The same couldn’t be said about their neighbors on the other side of the wall, but that wasn’t her business.

 

It’d be fine. 

 

She had just stopped brushing her teeth when she heard it. There were loud moans and screams and squeaks of bed frame from outside the bathroom. That couldn’t be…

 

That  _ was _ Regina. She felt all the air leave her lungs and blood go straight to her groin, and,  _ really, Regina?  _ Because whatever this was, it wasn’t making her life any easier.

 

She contemplated what she should do for a moment before quietly tiptoeing back into the bedroom. When she found Regina, she didn’t know whether to laugh or cry or go to the bathroom and furiously masturbate, because the woman was jumping on the bed as close to the wall as possible while she screamed and moaned at the top of her lungs.

 

“Seriously?” was all that left her mouth, and she wasn’t surprised to find out that her voice was awfully strained. She was surprised she was able to speak at all.

 

“Oh,” Regina said as she turned around, her expression guilty. “Did you hear me?”

 

“Are you serious right now?” she barked. “I’m sure the whole floor heard you, as well as our very lucky neighbors downstairs.”

 

“Good,” Regina said, a determined look in her eyes as she started jumping on the bed again. “Help me?”

 

Emma groaned and turned on her heel to go back to the bathroom. She spent a good while staring at the mirror before Regina’s moans in the bedroom subsided and she could think clearly again. She couldn't believe that she would just have to suck it up and go sleep next to the other woman after the very lively show she had just put on. 

  
This vacation was suddenly the  _ worst. _

**Author's Note:**

> I have seen only a couple of episodes of s6 because I simply don’t care about canon anymore, so if something seems off, it’s probably because of that!


End file.
